I remember

Dear Uncle Brett,

I only ever had one nickname that I can remember growing up.

Hayley Bob.

And you gave it to me.

I remember going watching you in your rodeos when I was too little to know what was going on.

I remember you telling me I was your favorite niece (Although I'm pretty sure you said that to all of your nieces)

I remember your smile when we would all get together.

I remember when I came to stay with you for the night and you asking me if my bed had enough pillows because "girls like a lot of pillows on their beds"

I remember spending time with you and loving you.

I'll always remember these things. And miss you.

I know you are in a better place.

I love you.

Love,

Your Hayley Bob.

Elected

I discovered tonight that I have a huge pet peeve.

And that is telling people that they shouldn't do something because they have never done it before.

College elections are supposed to be fun and exciting and about 

THE STUDENT BODY.

as a whole. 

Not about one group of people that knows each other and has worked together for years.

All year round student leaders talk about how they are going to "reach out to the student body" and they are going to listen to everyone's ideas.

This also includes encouraging people to try for these positions because they have good ideas.

Just because they aren't involved in the same things as you doesn't mean they aren't involved or they aren't qualified. 

Leadership isn't just about what you are capable of doing, but also what you are capable of bringing out in other people.

I think that we all could try to be a little more tolerant because that is what is going to make this school a better place. 

Try a Little Harder

It's not a resolution until you write them down.

Here goes nothing. 

Last year I feel like I had this expectation to be the boring friend.

Mostly because I was working, but also because I just didn't feel like it. 

I have decided that I don't want that anymore. 

I want to be fun and exciting. The way I was when I first started school.

So.

1. I want to be spontaneous.

2. I want to be more genuine with people that I meet.

3. I am going to take more time to spend with the people that I really like, instead of spending time with myself.

4. Be better.

As the beloved prophet Gordon B. Hinckley said "Try a little harder, to be a little better"

But first, let me take a selfie

so•cial me•di•a
noun
1. websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or to participate in social networking.

That is the Google definition of Social Media.

I think there is another definition: I think Social Media is a way for people to share only the VERY best parts of themselves.

The whole point of Instagram is to have people "like" or "favorite" the things that we are doing or have done.

The whole point of Twitter is to share our thoughts and have people validate them. 

And Facebook combines both of them.


Here's the thing though. This is not inherently bad. 

It is when you rely on those likes or favorites or shares or retweets for all of our self confidence.

The hard part is we all tell ourselves that it doesn't matter what other people think about us but the little tiny part of our heart that we can't lie to knows the truth: WE CARE. Otherwise we wouldn't take the time to share it. 

I'm speaking from personal experience here. The other day I shared a photo on Instagram and it has 90 likes. So close to 100. I don't know why I have this feeling that as soon as I hit 100 likes my whole life will suddenly change. 

No one is going to release balloons into the sky congratulating you on your accomplishment of gaining the haphazard "double tap" of 100 people on a social media site. 

One of the reasons that i know that these likes are haphazard comes from a social experiment that one of my great friends conducted a couple weeks ago. 

He posted a picture on Instagram of a half loaded post. So, if you weren't paying attention you would just think that the picture was taking forever to load. Example: 

Notice. This picture still has 65 likes. 65. This means 65 people didn't even see the picture before they hit the like button. I know this isn't everyone but it is still alarming.

This is what people base their entire self worth on. 

Remember: Social Media compares the best of someone else with the worst of ourselves.

I guess my whole point with this entire post is a reminder to myself that I am more than my social media accounts. 

and so are you.

I will.

I will not have friends.

I will never go on dates.

I will jump from school to meeting to work.

I will do my homework.

I will not see my roommates.

I will never eat.

I will try to be happy.

I will never have time.

I will never have time.

I will never have time.



I will struggle.

 but I will try.

Guide Me to Thee

Can we just talk about the Spirit for a second. 

Listen. I have not been doing everything that I should be doing all of the time. 

I forget to read the Book of Mormon. 

I forget to pray.

I think about skipping church. Every Sunday.

I am a very judgmental person.

And yet.

The other day I was praying in my heart for something. Something small that I wanted. I didn't even need it. and it fell into my lap.

This experience taught me something about Heavenly Father.

He doesn't mind.

Not "he doesn't care" because he always cares.

He doesn't mind waiting. Waiting for us to do the right thing.

Waiting for me to swallow my pride and admit I need Him.

He doesn't mind. Nor will He ever mind. 

He will look down at us and say "I'm watching out for you still. Please be better?"

And I will continually fall to my knees and say "I'm sorry."

I want to be better.

and He will always let me.  

Hello Alone.

I'm getting to that point in my life where my news feed is full of

Wedding announcements.

Baby Announcements.

Mission Homecomings.

And honestly it's incredible that such great things are happening to my friends.

But with every "congratulations",

with every "girl or boy?"

with every "Welcome home!"

I am no closer to my

congratulations.

girl or boy.

or even welcome home.




and i want to be.

21 is young.

but it is also time. time for me to stop being on my own.



I've been thinking too much lately.